6 months with our rescue border collie - what actually helped vs what I thought would help

We adopted Ranger in October. He was about 2 years old, had been in the shelter 4 months before us, and came with a long list of notes: reactive to other dogs, resource guarder, shuts down around loud noises. We knew what we were signing up for. We thought we were prepared.

We were not prepared.

The first two months were rough in ways i didnt expect. Not the reactivity - we had a plan for that. The hard part was that Ranger basically pretended we didn't exist. He'd take treats gently and then go back to his corner. He didn't engage with toys. He didn't try to get attention. It felt like having a very polite ghost in the house. My wife cried about it more than once.

What we thought would help: lots of interaction, bringing him everywhere, introducing him to friends so he'd get used to people. Exposure = progress, right?

What actually helped: doing almost the opposite. We stopped trying so hard. We just existed near him. Watched TV without trying to pet him. Let him choose when to approach us. Took him on the same walk every single day at the same time. Stopped having people over for a month. Gave him one job - carrying a small pack on walks - and i think that alone unlocked something in his brain.

Six months in he sleeps on the bed. He brings me his ball in the morning. Last week he played with a neighbor's dog for 10 minutes without me needing to intervene once. Still reactive on leash sometimes. Probably always will be a little. But he's home now, you know?