our five year old lab mix was completely relaxed around our daughter for her first nine months and now that she is crawling he has started leaving the room, lip licking, and last week gave one low growl when she cornered him at his bed, the behavior consult we booked is two weeks out and half the people in my life say hes fine while the other half say rehome him, i need to know what we actually do in the meantime

Cooper is our 5.5 year old lab mix, 74lb, adopted at 18 months, and for four years he has been the most unremarkable good dog you could ask for. when our daughter Nora was born last september he handled the newborn stage better than we did, sniffed her once at the hospital blanket introduction, then mostly treated her like furniture that occasionally cried. friends joked that he was the easiest part of having a baby. for nine months that was true.

three weeks ago she started crawling and the dog we knew changed. he gets up and leaves the room when she starts moving toward him, which honestly i was fine with, thats him solving his own problem. but the lip licking started around the same time, and the yawning when shes near him, and last tuesday the thing that has me typing this at 6am. she got herself into the dead end between the couch and the wall where his bed is, he was on the bed, and he gave a low growl for maybe a second or two. my wife scooped her up, Cooper walked away, nobody escalated anything. we did not correct him or yell at him, id read enough to know the growl is him talking, but my heart was going like id run a mile. since then ive been noticing whale eye when she gets within a few feet of him, which either started recently or ive just started seeing it. he has never stiffened over food or toys around her, though we havent tested that and dont plan to.

what weve done so far. booked a certified dog behavior consultant, $240 for the initial session, but her first opening is july 17th which feels like a decade from now. baby gates arrive tomorrow. and the extended family has split into two camps that are both making me crazy, my mother in law is in the "that dog would never hurt her, hes fine, youre overreacting" camp and my own sister is in the "you cannot risk it, my friend rehomed theirs after one growl" camp, and both answers feel wrong in ways i cant fully articulate.

questions for people who have actually lived through the crawling phase with a dog. one, we read the growl as communication and didnt correct it, was that the right call, and what does the escalation ladder actually look like if this goes in the wrong direction, i want to know what im watching for. two, whats the right physical setup for the next two weeks until the consult, where do the gates go, where should his bed move to, what does a good layout even look like. three, which stress signals mean end the interaction right now versus just keep an eye on it. four, is there a version of this where they end up genuinely comfortable around each other, or is permanent management the realistic ceiling and i should adjust my expectations now. five, for those who did the professional consult, what did it actually change day to day, trying to set expectations for the $240